Life with Coco and Gigi... and Jack-Jack too!

Life as a Mom, A Homesteader, A Blogger and A Wife.

So far, so fast

Maybe I have Bi-Polar disorder, or maybe it is normal to feel so empowered and in charge one day and feel so friggin helpless another. Coming off of a post touting how far I have come and how wonderful the world can be. Now I sit down to write about how shitty it is that I have no control over my life.

I know that religious people say that accepting your lack of control sets you free. I just feel like accepting that would be the end of me. (Funny, that ever rhymes.) I work so hard to find ways to assert control over my environment. Isn't this blog an outlet of that? This gives me a spot to get on and type what is going on in my life. Once I am done writing I feel better. Is it because I have managed to expunge all the emotion or is it because I feel more power over my situation. At this point I am rambling and not successfully expressing what I intended. Well, I know what I mean and that's what's most important.

3 comments:

Mandy 11:07 AM  

It is shitty, very shitty. For both of us. I hope that it takes a turn for the better very soon. ((hugs))

tim 4:16 PM  

you notice that at the high times all the lows don't seem to matter and you can handle anything? Then at the low times you'd trade anything to make them never return.

A lack of control doesn't set me free, it just humbles me. At the high times I feel free. Or is it a high time because I feel free?

Kristen 10:50 PM  

Good point Tim...I'll have to think about that one

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Over 8 years we have struggled through 3 IUI's, 6 rounds of IVF, several RE's, hundreds of appointments and the loss of three little angels. Now we find ourselves the proud parents of two perfect little girls and a wonderful little boy!!

Both of our girls struggle with some disabilities but that won't keep us down. Each day has it's own brand of insanity but we love it. Most days I am more monkey wrangler than mother but I do the best I can. Todays goal - getting to tomorrow.

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