Gaming with your kids?

As my kids are getting older their interests have changed pretty dramatically. The girls have given up on their childhood toys and are moving on to hanging with friends and doing big kid things. The boy spends more time asking to play video games than playing with action figures. While it truly makes me sad that they are growing up, there are some perks. Here's something you might not know about me - not only do I like to play video games, but I am good at them. So when Jack asks to play a video game I get to "take a break from work" and play with him. 

One of my recent clients, my buying guide, has opened my eyes to gaming projectors. I consider myself somewhat tech savvy but things seem to be advancing faster than I can keep up with. I knew about projectors for watching movies, but now you can play your favorite game on the big screen. Here's more:

my buying guide helps newbies (like me) and those in the know (not me) figure out what projector is right for their needs. 

So when you are thinking of the perfect family Christmas gift or trying to find something new for the avid gamer in your life - give this a look. 

Our Favorite Sensory Diet Ingredients

Around age 2 both girls were diagnosed with Sensory Processing Dysfunction. Abby has always been a sensory seeker of the highest proportion. We always thought that as time went on it might be reduced, but that has not been the case. On the other hand, Grace tended to be more of a sensory avoider. As she has gotten older she does MUCH better with texture and even crazes it to some degree. 

What has always astonished me is how much better both girls function when we pay attention to their sensory diet needs. I thought I would put together a list of some of the items that are must haves on our sensory diet list. 

The Gymnic Movin' Sit Inflatable Seat: This little powerhouse has been sat upon by almost every hynie in the house. I must admit on particularly hyper days even I can be found swaying to and from to keep my attention level up. Abby get a lot of input from the dimples, but Grace and I enjoy the ability to move while you sit. Costs just over $30 so a great buy. 

 

Z-Vibe: Although the Z vibe finally died in our house after 6 years of use, it is a great tool for kids whose sensory needs involve the mouth. For us, that was both girls. Abby used to stuff her mouth and her OT suggested that we use this to give her input before she ate. It did a great job at minimizing stuffing and creating feeding awareness. Grace avoided certain textures so we tried this before she ate things she usually avoided. It helped us get her to eat yogurt and smoothies, but she still won't eat anything with lumps like oatmeal. 

 

Chewy Necklaces: At nine years old I still often find Abby wearing one of her many chewy necklaces. They beat the heck out of fingernails or sleeves for kids who look for input by chewing.  

Chewy Tubes: In that same vain we have an entire bin (I kid you not, a bin) of various chewy tubes that have been collected over the years. Abby's absolute favorite are the P's and Q's, probably because I can attach them to a necklace.  They are inexperience and can be thrown in the dishwasher to keep clean. 

Raising A Sensory Smart Child: This book was just about heaven-sent to a Mom who had never heard of SPD before the day both of her kids were diagnosed with it. There is a book and a cool guide to activities, both of which I loved and used frequently. I highly recommend you invest in both!

Weighted Blankets: Abby has always been a terrible sleeper. When her OT suggested a weighted blanket it almost sounded like a form of child abuse. Little did I know this well known sensory secret is a must for sensory kids who struggle to sleep. Both girls used them from about 3 until 6. Abby continued to use hers until she outgrew it last year. That being said I am considering buying a larger one for her to use now. 

Please excuse the shameless Amazon plug here, but that is truly where we ordered all of our sensory products. There are some great companies out there selling awesome products but when buying for two kids with two different kinds of needs Amazon fit our budget. 

Grace the Athlete Versus Grace the Girl

Grace is athletic. To people who follow me on Instagram or Facebook you probably are well aware of that. You are also probably very aware that I am a very proud sports Mom. In our town sports are everything. I don't think this is something unique to us, but I don't really know. There are a lot of politics and it often impacts our young athletes. While sports can be a huge asset and character builder in kids, in a town like ours there is an underside.

Grace made the travel basketball squad this year. It is a team of just ten girls who are deemed good enough to compete at this level. It was a HUGE honor for her. She started off the season strong and earned a spot as a starter. Another HUGE honor. She has not had good coaching in basketball so her inexperience showed to some degree on the court. This led to her being unfairly benched. It was ugly and unfair. It killed her self-esteem for a few weeks. After a tricky round of conversations with her coach things are on the upswing.

What all of this brought about for me was the power that sports can have in the lives of kids who view themselves as athletes. I coach more than one sport in our town and I see my job as a coach to first build the kids up and second to teach them a sport. Unfortunately not all of our coaches see it this way. Too often I am watching the goals look more like first, win and second, make sure the status quo of politics is in order. It's sometimes tough to watch.

I am partly writing this as a catharsis opportunity for myself, but also because I am sure there are a million Grace's out there who see themselves as athletes. A large part of their identity, and therefore self-esteem is tied into her sports. It's nothing something we taught or even encouraged, it's just her. So, now we as parents are tasked to give her the opportunity she needs to succeed in sports so she can develop a positive self-view. Those of us who were given athletically gifted kids to foster this in them. It's part of their development. And even more importantly, those of us who coach must remember that we are training not just athletes, but developing children.

Parenting in a world of tragedy

One of the biggest challenges I face as a mother in 2016 is the level of chaos and terror that I cannot protect my children from. When the kids see a news story of a devastating earthquake, tornado or hurricane I can say with a fair amount of confidence, "don't worry kids, we live in New Jersey and these things just don't happen here."It's possible but when I tell them this it is the reality. What do I tell them when people blow up buildings full of innocent people are shoot entire night clubs full of people doing absolutely nothing wrong. 

It is a challenge we all face collectively. We can't shield them from it because they are going to hear on the bus or the playground. In a class full of 20 kids you better believe that half have already heard it. So, how do you explain these atrocities to an eight year old? I don't have a solid answer to this question so I have a few guiding principles. 1. Only answer what they ask. 2. Be honest and direct, shielding them from the truth will bite you in the end. 3. Allow them to be scared and upset and help them understand that although the world is scary it is our job to live our lives every single day. 

I'd like to think it was easier to parent 50 years ago when war was something a million miles away. I'd like to think that in the past kids were better off not being bombarded with stories of death and hate. Unfortunately that doesn't help the moms and dads of today. It's our jobs to ban together and help make our own part of the world a little safer. 

They're listening

Jack has always been a big fan of the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, in fact I am fairly certain he is considered an honorary member. Part of the reason I am a fan of the Disney Channel is not the constant bombardment of the Disney brand (which I do love) is that they try to use the old fashioned PSA to encourage kids to do good.

One of their promotions is something called "The Power of Doing Good." It is a segment where they highlight a child who is doing something proactive in their community to help people, the environment, animals, or another cause. A nice idea, right?

Last week we finally had some nice, warm weather and sadly Jack and I were cooped up in the house, me working and him watching the tube and playing. I took out the dog to soak up five minutes of sunshine and when I came back in I found Jack rummaging through his toy bin. I asked what he was doing, to which he responded simply, "looking for my grabber for the power of doing good." I was a little puzzled what he meant when it hit me that one of the segments was of a little boy collecting garbage on the beach with his grabber and throwing it away. I smiled, helped him find his grabber and off we went.

So for ten minutes, in the middle of the day, my four-year-old helped in the power of doing good. Such an amazing reminder that although they're listening every time a curse passes our lips, we glance at our phones while driving or gossip about a neighbor... they're also listening to the good in the world. Sometimes I am frightened by what is blaring from the television, what comes out of the mouths of my children's friends and what messages are bombarding my kids. I can't control it, I can't stop it, I'm not even sure that I can balance it out. Then something like a simple PSA reaching a four year old in the middle of the day reminds me that there is *some* good and kind things influencing my kids. That might be enough to help me win the balancing act and raise kids who are kind and caring. Amen to that!

Togetherness

When I found out I was having multiples (was triplets to begin with) I wondered how much children would get along when they got older. Would they be the inseparable kind of twins? Would they get along better than most kids? Would they drive each other nuts because they were together so much? 

 Then they were born and I realized that they were siblings, not just twins. Sure they fight sometimes, but probably less than most siblings. We chocked that up to the fact that they were twins. But we always put an emphasis on the importance of your siblings. When no one else in the world is there for you, a sister always can be.

 Then when we knew another baby was on the way I started to worry. How could this new person fit into the world of twins? Would this baby always be the third wheel? Would he/she ever be able to fit in?

Then he was here. And they loved him. And although there are moments when he is the third wheel, he fits in their world better than I could have imagined. I love watching they bond and grow and love each other. He misses them terrible when they are gone at school. They hug him so tight when they get home. They're quite a trio these three. 

Overscheduled

When I had the girls I vowed not to turn into an overscheduler. We live in the suburbs of Philadelphia and it seems like East Coasters feel the need to keep busy at every waking moment. I am an Easterner by birth but sometimes it seems like a little too much. So, as the girls have gotten older, we have put them in classes and activities and sports. It was gradual but some days I take a step back, look at our calendar and question if I turned into what I had wanted to avoid. The over scheduling Mom who needs to fill their every moment.

Now, don't get me wrong, I am a huge fan of sports and activities. I love that we can provide these things for our children. A very good friend of mine reminded me how important and valuable these things are to a child. She herself was not given the privilege and I know that was a disappointment for her. I just have to ask myself how much is too much?

Our original rule was one activity per "season". But then we added religious formation classes, a Lacrosse training program for Grace, Lego club after school, Brownies, basketball starting soon, classes at the library and on and on. I feel like I have to watch carefully and keep a finger on the pulse at all times. With school and homework and sports and activities kids don't have enough unscheduled play time. Time to think and create. Time to use their little imaginations. Isn't it my responsibility that they get to feed their minds in every way. I originally thought they would tell me when enough is enough but they don't. Their little brains want more and more every day. They crave business.

It's all part of the tight rope we walk as parents. We want to give them everything they need but also have to know when enough is enough. I am sure that I fail the tight rope test at least ten times a day. However, I am thankful it doesn't mean I have leave the circus. (And trust me, I am living in one big circus!)

So different

Recently I was weather treating all of the fall shoes and it occurred to me that it was a physical manifestation of just how different my twins are. Same womb. Same environment. And yet they could not be more different. 

It's not just how they dress or what colors they choose, it's how they experience the world. 

One is fearless and bold. One is more timid and cautious. (And I bet you don't know which is which.) One takes on ever moment with a smile and a laugh while the other has to think first. One loves nothing more than to run and leap and climb. While the other would prefer to read and watch. 

It's an amazing experience watching their personalities develop into the people they will be. The uniqueness of THEM is often highlighted by the comparison between them. I hear all the time that people has wished for twins. I usually jokingly say "no you didn't" but in reality I know just how lucky I am. 

Oh, the tragedy!

Who knew that life with three children under the age of seven would come with so much drama and agony???

What's odd is that Grace is not represented in any of these photos...

That could be because she had such a tremendous month...

OR, it COULD be that her meltdowns are too massive to try to photograph!

Terrible Two's

I forever heard about the Terrible Two's. I feared it and prepared for it with the girls. However, it never *really* came. They had there rough moments but it could not compare to the Three's. The three's were hell. We had temper tantrums, attitude problems, independence assertions left and right... it was atrocious.

But now, as we close in on two with The Boy Child, well... it's getting ugly. The little dude has gone from laid back and mellow to wild, overly independent and downright naughty at times. He throws. He hits. He climbs (and climbs and climbs and climbs).

** He is sitting on the kitchen table playing little people.

He punches the tv and throws dinosaurs down the stairs. He steals his sisters iPods and hides them. 

So, is it the terrible two's? Is it different with boys? (Dear God don't tell me this is nothing, the threes are worse.) I'm praying it's a short lived phase. Not sure I'm holding my breath for that but one can hope.

Fun and Games

By mid winter, every single year since I have had children, I feel like I am losing my marbles. We've been inside too much. We miss the outside and our garden. We get regular old cabin fever. This year has been colder and snowier than in my entire life. So you can imagine the cabin fever this year. 

The funny thing is that at the end of every single winter when I look back I see all these funny, interesting and inspired moments. Something about being inside and being "forced" to get creative creates these fun moments. 

Moments of random silliness:

Moments of pure sibling love and joy. 

Epic dance parties. 

Learning new games. Then mastering them.  

Being goofy as a family and trying to capture it on camera.  

And the obvious quick jaunts out in the cold to shake off the cabin fever. 

Even though they drive me absolutely, positively, certifiably insane some days they are fabulous company. 

They really are cool little people in the making. 

If only I could remember that in the day to day insanity!

Dear Grace's Teacher

Part of our kids back to school packet was the form to tell a little something about your kid. You get 3 or 4 lines to tell your child's teacher what they should know about them. Somehow 3 or 4 lines doesn't feel nearly long enough. There are so many things I want the person who will care for them ALL DAY LONG to know about each of them. How do you decipher the most important points?

Dear Grace's Teacher,

There is so much I want you to know. First you should know that I feel blessed to have you as my daughters teacher. You have taught Genna and Will and Jordan and you know me and my family. We grew up around the corner from each other. You are good people. I am grateful for that more than I can say. There are so many things I want you to know about my girl. Where do I start?

1. My girl is a very sensitive soul. She will seem so tough and sturdy but she isn't. She's more eggshell than steel. 
2. Grace has ADHD. Not the mis-diagnosed "wild-but-normal" variety but the real deal, meltdowns, tantrums, loses control, high anxiety variety. She can control it much of the time but not all day long. You will see it. 
3. Sister is a perfectionist. If she can't write a perfect letter G she has been known to throw a complete fit. It frustrates both her and us. We have worked on it for years but have not managed to move her past it. 
4. She likes things just so. I don't want to say she's obsessive but...
5. A loose tooth, skinned knee, paper cut or bump to the head will often look more like a full limb amputation on a bad day. 
6. My girl loves her some arts and crafts. When she gets wild at home it's either music or crafting that soothes the savage beast. Preferably both simultaneously. 
7. Grace is a tad agressive. Gym class is going to be heaven or hell depending upon how physical she is allowed to be and how much she can reign herself in. 
8. There will be days where she just doesn't want to be there. She will want to be home with me and we will both cry as the bus pulls away. Just give her an extra hug on those days. 
9. My girls are gonna fight sometimes. I know under your breath you will curse us for keeping them together but on the other days trust me, you'll be glad they have each other. 
10. Most important, take good care of my baby. This is the little creature I rocked in my arms and held her hands when she learned to walk. I rubber her cheek when she awoke from surgery and helped her through many a tough speech or OT session. I taught her to swim and paint and dance. I love her more than the sun and moon and stars combined. 

Repsectfully,

Grace's Momma

The end of an era

My little man if officially weaned. It wasn't my choice... it was his.

We came home from vacation and he had just decided that he had enough of it. I nursed less on vacation than normal and I think that probably did us in. When we got home he went back to nursing 2-3 times a day for a week or so. But then he made it official. For two days straight he refused to nurse. He was taking a bottle so we don't think it was ears or teeth or pain. I think he was just ready.

I tried to keep at it but he was done. I had to bite the bullet and be done. So he is completely weaned and seems very happy about it. I was very, very sad at first since I was shooting for closer to two. The nice thing is that there was no long drawn out process. He didn't fight it. It was just over. Just like that. And that's good.

Doesn't mean I don't miss the snuggles, the excuse to have a nice sit a few times a day, the bonding time... I complained but I loved it.

I am still calling it a success. Almost 16 months is probably better than most. It wasn't easy but it was so worth it.

Amazon Mom

I hate when a blog that I frequent does one of those annoying posts telling you to go buy something or do something. That being said here I am doing the same thing. I do it mostly because I am such an avid amazon user I often want to sign their praises to the hills. (The flip side of me hates not shopping locally and supporting a big conglomerate... Two sides of the coin I guess.)

I started using Amazon Mom years ago and fell in love with having diapers and wipes brought to my door when I need them. I quickly signed up for Amazon Prime once it became available. Ever since the UPS man and I are on a first name basis. ;D

So for Moms everywhere with not enough time or energy to get to the store when you need to I strongly suggest you check out Amazon Mom.

Click Here to check it out

About Amazon Mom:

What Is Amazon Mom?

Amazon Mom is a membership program aimed at helping parents and caregivers in the prenatal through toddler years use Amazon to find and save on products their families need. Amazon Mom is open to anyone, whether you're a mom, dad, grandparent, or caretaker. New members are eligible for a 3-month free period.

Benefits during the 3-Month Free Period

• 20% off diapers and wipes subscriptions with Subscribe & Save (exclusive to Amazon Mom)
• 20% off other family essential subscriptions when five or more Subscribe & Save items arrive on your monthly delivery day (exclusive to Amazon Mom)
• FREE Two-Day Shipping on millions of items with Amazon Prime* shipping

During the free period, Amazon Mom members do not have access to all of the benefits that a paid Prime membership provides, including access to Prime Instant Videos and the ability to share shipping benefits.

Extending Benefits after the 3-Month Free Period

At the end of the free period, Amazon Mom members will automatically continue receiving the Mom benefits plus additional Amazon Prime benefits for $79 a year. Amazon Mom members who pay for Amazon Prime receive:

• 20% off diapers and wipes subscriptions with Subscribe & Save (exclusive to Amazon Mom)
• 20% off other family essential subscriptions when five or more Subscribe & Save items arrive on your monthly delivery day (exclusive to Amazon Mom)
• FREE Two-Day Shipping on millions of items with Amazon Prime
• Unlimited instant streaming of thousands of movies and TV shows with Prime Instant Videos
• A Kindle book to borrow for free each month from the Kindle Owners’ Lending Library
• Other Prime benefits: Invite up to four household members to share your Prime shipping benefits for free

If you choose not to join Amazon Prime after your free period, you may still receive Amazon Mom e-mails offering exclusive deals and discounts.

Amazon Mom Exclusive 20% Discounts

Amazon Mom offers two member-exclusive discounts on Subscribe & Save items. To receive these discounts, you must be in the Mom 3-month free period or be the primary holder of a Prime account.

The 20% diapers and wipes discount includes a 5% Subscribe & Save discount plus a 15% Amazon Mom member discount. If you already have Subscribe & Save delivery on diapers and wipes, you'll automatically receive the additional 15% discount once you join Amazon Mom. To receive the 20% 'other family essentials' discount, choose five or more Subscribe & Save items to arrive on your monthly delivery day and save 20%.

The 20% 'other family essentials' discount includes a 15% Subscribe & Save discount plus a 5% Amazon Mom member discount. Diapers and wipes count toward your five monthly items and always receive the 20% discount; the maximum discount on diapers and wipes is 20%.

Current Amazon Prime Members

If you're already an Amazon Prime member and you sign up for Amazon Mom, you'll receive all Mom benefits for free. Note: If you cancel your Prime membership, you will no longer be eligible to receive the additional Amazon Mom discounts on Subscribe & Save items, though you may continue to get other deals and discounts associated with the Amazon Mom program.

Eligibility

Any customer who has ever received Prime shipping benefits through Amazon Mom or Amazon Student is ineligible for the Amazon Mom 3-month free period. We also consider your free or paid Prime membership history when determining eligibility. Amazon Mom is limited to one membership per household.  

Bathtime

Bath-time is always fun in our house. (And by fun I mean fun for my children but TORTURE for the parents giving the baths :D)

First Steps

There aren't the official first steps but they were taken about two hours after the official ones. :D

**This was taken about a week and a half ago. 

Little conversations

I am sitting my desk today (I share my office with the kids playroom... fun, right?) and I see Jack crawling around with a stick of chalk, red drool on his face and a giant smile. I take it away and wipe him up. You see the chalk in our house is contained in a sealer container... unless certain little girls leave it open.

After bubba is wiped and stripped of his prize chalk I go to remind the girls that they need to seal their chalk when done. The conversation goes something like this:

Me: Girls I want you to know that because you did not put your chalk away your brother ate a hunk of your chalk.

Grace: (In a rapid, stressed pace) Oh no, did you get it? Is he sick? Will he be okay? Will he die? Are you mad?

Abby: What color chalk?

Thank you Abigail, for your genuine concern for your brother. :D

Mothers Day

This year my lovelies provided me with a wonderful mothers day. The gifts were homemade. The behavior was excellent. I got to sleep in. I went out with my mom with NO KIDS! It was delightful.

Aside from Mothers Day being a day to celebrate your own mother I think, as a Mom, it's a day to appreciate our job. Mothering is so full of hard, laborious daily trials that we don't have many quiet moments to see the good we are doing. We *know* that what we are doing is important but it sure doesn't feel it in the moment. (And it really doesn't at 5 o'clock on a Monday afternoon when I am yelling at everyone to get moving or we'll be late for track practice!)

What we do it critically important. And even when we screw up we are still doing good. Our kids need us. No matter how flawed and frustrated and tired we are we are their perfect mother. We are given the children we are supposed to have. We have the right skills to guide them if we use them.

Happy belated mothers day to all of the mommas, mommas at heart, soon to be mommas and someday mommas.

Ouch

It's those moments in parenting. The ones where we have to step up to the plate and be the Mom (or Dad) but we wanna cringe or cry or throw up (or all three). I hate those moments and we have had so many. Every big fall. Every mouth full of blood. Every black eye or bruise or surgery or whatever.

In this case it was a sprinkler head to the noggin.

Grace and her new bestie were wrestling at the bus stop. It's how they play and wrestling is probably putting it lightly. She got tackled, went down hard but they were in the grass so I breathed a sigh of relief. That is until I realized she had whacked the back of her head on a metal sprinkler head. She came over crying (and she's tough so it obviously hurt) so I rubbed her head to console her. I figured it was a bump and she would have a little bruise and be fine. My hand felt wet and I came up with a handful of blood. The back of her hair was soaked.

Those are the moments you want to cringe and cry and scoop them up. If I did that the panic she already was building would have been insane. So instead we calmly took her in (and she knew that if we were missing the bus it was bad) and tried to look at it. Unfortunately in those moments her anxiety and hyperactivity meld into a whirlwind of screaming and crying. It took a few minutes to calm her enough to look at it and it looked bad. She had cut a flap and it was bleeding like mad.

Thankfully my Mom, who studied nursing AND has raised 7 kids, was there and helped get the bleeding under control. While she probably could have stood to have a stitch or two my Mom (wordlessly) knew that a trip to the ER for stitches would create weeks of anxiety for Grace.

So after about a half and hour she was calmed down and the bleeding stopped. Thankfully she is a fast clotter like her Dad. So after she was calm and watching TV I wanted to cry. I hate when they get hurt and there is so little you can do. You know they'll remember "the time I fell and gashed my head open" and you want them to also remember "my Mom and my Honey made me better" and "later my Mom let me have oreo's AND fruit snacks with food coloring" NOT "my Mom was a nervous mess and clearly wanted to run away for a moment".

This parenting thing ain't easy.

Procrastinate, me???

I am NOT a procrastinator, ordinarily. I like to do things way in advance. I get my coffee ready the night before and set a timer. All clothes are picked out in advance. Work deadlines are met long before they're due. I usually use the crock pot for dinner so I don't have to be cooking at 5 o'clock.

But lately things have been different. I don't know if it's the impeding change in the seasons or the kids or what but I am seriously behind. I'm behind on work. I'm behind on the house. I have to remind myself to do little things like pay the bills and wash the clothes. I have turned into a temporary procrastinator. And I have found out something interesting...

It's okay to occasionally procrastinate! Who knew?!? There is something oddly freeing in just putting it off. Having a deadline quickly approaching is a great motivator. I didn't think it was possible. Now, I'm not saying that this will last. I am guessing my old OCD ways will take over in the very near future and the idea of procrastinating will make me feel nauseous but for now I am trying to embrace it.

The house is messy, I haven't vacuumed in a week, the meals aren't planned... and I like it.