Life with Coco and Gigi... and Jack-Jack too!

Life as a Mom, A Homesteader, A Blogger and A Wife.

How could this happen

How the hell could this happen. How could the praying and the begging to protect my baby not work. I know all the religious and spiritual explanation but they mean shit right now. How, after two plus years can I get pregnant only to have my child ripped away from me like this. I feel like my strength is gone. I feel like my heart is shattered into millions of little pieces. I feel like a failure. I know I shouldn't, BUT I CAN'T HELP IT. What the fuck is wrong with me, with us. Why is this so damned hard. This is supposed to be so easy, so natural, a part of the cirle of life. How do I get up the energy to start all of this over again. The shots, the appointments, the waiting, the procedures, the money...all of it. I feel like the reserves are tapped and nothing is left. Have we not done enough for those around us. Have we not given all that we could give. I just wish I could find a way to stop the crying, stop the sick feeling in my stomach and feel alive again.

5 comments:

Anonymous 7:15 PM  

It's not fair, and it hurts like hell. Cry your eyes out, grieve for the little one you never got to know. The pain does fade with time, but it never goes away completely. It just leaves you jaded and more appreciative of all of the lives around you. Do know that when you DO have your baby, s/he will have their own baby angel to watch over them.

Plant Girl 7:42 PM  

I wish that I could provide answers and help heal your pain. It's not fair that you've been dealt this hand. You just have to keep going on, putting one foot in front of the other. Finding a way to make it through.

Remember that we're all here to help in whatever way we can. ((hugs))

Dr. Grumbles 8:43 PM  

I had a blighted ovum miscarriage in early March. Everything you wrote sounds so familiar to me, practically word for word from my own thoughts. It does stink. It is most certainly unfair. I am so sorry for your loss. No one should ever to experience such a cruel emotional joke. I am certainly thinking of you ...

Anonymous 10:18 PM  

You have an outstanding good and well structured site. I enjoyed browsing through it alfa romeo parts online How do i clean up my credit report Cancer pain relief for dog buick open golf tournament Governments free student loan consolidation238165 buying alfa romeo Maple tarr chrysler Boat fax and email alfa romeo exhaust systems

Anonymous 2:59 AM  

Very cool design! Useful information. Go on! Dunn communications answering service Woman&aposs hair loss Ems management training hiking texas tour how to repair ni-mh battery http://www.purdue-oxycontin-patent.info/crye-leike-real-estate.html car wax and information Cheat black jack Blair armstrong football house hold bank mastercard century 21 real estate new jersey The flea anal teen tryouts In home security http://www.baseball-betting-3.info/cpufansocket.html Nissan odessey versus toyota sienna luggage space Shemale clubs miami zithromax pregnancy Oral maxillofacial surgery training programs in Cpanel+free+hosting+mysql+php+web+ Apartment rentals milwaukee wisconsin area

Us

Us

About this blog

Over 8 years we have struggled through 3 IUI's, 6 rounds of IVF, several RE's, hundreds of appointments and the loss of three little angels. Now we find ourselves the proud parents of two perfect little girls and a wonderful little boy!!

Both of our girls struggle with some disabilities but that won't keep us down. Each day has it's own brand of insanity but we love it. Most days I am more monkey wrangler than mother but I do the best I can. Todays goal - getting to tomorrow.

Search This Blog

Follow us through pictures!

Follow us through pictures!
kristenfescoe

GFAF Blogger

GFAF Blogger

Followers

Blog Archive

© 2006–2015. Life with Coco and Gigi. All rights reserved. No content on this site may be reused in any fashion without written permission.

Labels

50 Things to Blog About (1) A Bright Project (1) Abb (1) Abby (188) ADHD (2) Adventures in Therapy (25) Allergies (9) Allergy Friendly (4) Asian Recipes (2) Babies (29) Baby (6) Baby Stuff (29) Baby Updates (83) Back to school (4) Backyard (1) Backyard 2013 (2) Baking (1) Beef Recipes (5) Being Three (5) Blog Challenge (30) Blogs (25) Breakfast Recipes (1) Breast Feeding (8) Brian (5) Cancer (11) Canning (5) Catching Up (1) Charity (3) Chicken (2) Chicken Recipe (6) CHOP (43) Christmas (11) Clean Eating (1) Cook Books (2) Cooking (24) Coupons (4) Crafts (2) Crock Pot Recipe (3) Dad (10) Dairy Free (2) Dance (1) Delivery (3) Dessert Recipe (1) Disney (2) DIY (1) Doctors Appointments (100) Dog (3) Down the shore (4) Easy Meals (2) EI (22) Family (183) Father and son (1) Five Ingredient Favorites (2) Food (3) Food Allergies (2) Freezing (1) Funny (2) Garden 2013 (4) Gardening (9) Girls (220) Giveaway (17) Gluten Free (2) Grace (1) Gracie (138) Gratitude Journal (8) Grilling (1) Growing Up (1) Guest Post (1) Holidays (118) Home buying (24) Homemade (3) Homesteading (2) How we spend our time (120) Illness (67) In The Kitchen (19) In the yard (1) Infertility (59) Inspired writing (5) Instagram (1) Issues for women like me (76) IVF (28) Jack (88) Kindness (1) Library (2) Living Simply (1) Me (131) Meatless Recipes (1) Mexican (1) Mexican Recipes (2) Misc (55) Mom Thoughts (76) Moments (1) Momma Woes (1) Mothering (8) Mushrooms (1) My annoying hand (12) Nursery (5) Nursing (7) OT (12) Our House (28) Parenting (55) Pasta (2) Phone Dump (1) Pictures (532) Politics (5) Pork Recipes (1) Potty Training (6) Prayer Request (8) Pregnancy (118) Pregnancy Loss (3) Preserving (5) PT (31) Quotes (11) Randomness (143) Rant (52) Recipes (25) Reviews (1) Rhombencephalosynapsis (11) School (87) Seafood Recipe (1) Sensory Integration (13) Shower (2) Siblings (2) Side Dishes (1) Snack Recipes (1) Soup (5) Special Needs (11) Speech (4) Sponsored Posts (1) Sports (94) Stew (1) stories (1) Summer Fun (11) Summer Learning (6) Summer Meals (1) The Girls (3) The Kids (40) The Reason for the season (1) The Reason for the Season (25) Therapy (5) Things my kids always eat (11) Time Savers (1) Topics of Interest (13) Track (9) Twins (51) Ultrasounds (4) Vacation (35) Vegan (4) Vegan Recipes (1) Veggie Recipes (1) Video (77) Videos (28) WAHM (1) Website (2) Weekly Updates (29) Weight Loss (2) What to do with leftovers (1) Winter (4) Wisdom the Dog (3) Words of inspiration (8) Work (12) Writing (6) Writing Pieces (1) Yo Gabba Gabba (3)