So how the hell do we do this???

After having one decent day where I felt a little better I feel like I got kicked right back into my hole. The first issue was that I realized I am right back in the cess pool of the waiting game. I am back to doctors visits, blood work, ultrasounds, appointment scheduling and being at the mercy of other people. I want to keep moving forward but I feel like I shouldn't be doing this. I should be on my merry way to motherhood instead of stuck in this shit. I was so close to being done with this I could taste it and now it is gone.

The second and more daunting reason I feel so damn miserable is the usual trap... Money. I sat down to try to figure out how in the hell we pay for another round of this. We both want it bad enough to make whatever sacrifices we have to, but it is killing us financially. Our savings are gone. We can't borrow against our 401k. We have hit up everyone that we felt appropriate asking. I don't know how we are going to swing this. If I could sell a kidney, I probably would right now. I doubt a bake sale would rake in a couple thousand. I just wish I knew what to do. I wish I knew who to ask or how to make this work. Brian is already doing freelance work. I have taken every class they will give me. We are donating half of my eggs to decrease the cost. What more are we expected to do. It is so unbelievably frustrating to not only have to go through this emotionally but also financially. It just sucks.