Life with Coco and Gigi... and Jack-Jack too!

Life as a Mom, A Homesteader, A Blogger and A Wife.

Damn Hormones

Well, I know it is the hormones talking when the depression and doubt rears it's head, but man this sucks. Today I have found myself asking two questions that I have yet to ask. First is 'why am I doing this'??? Why am I putting us both through this hell for something that might never happen? That brings me to my second question; "is this really ever going to happen???"

Up until now I have been very positive that all of this is worth it. Now I just can't help but wonder. Bry works all day and then comes home and works his ass off on his freelance project in hopes that he will get the next paycheck in time for the IVF. I have no idea what in the hell we are going to do if that doesn't happen. I dread the thought of using thousands of dollars worth of meds, getting down to the ER and not being able to pay. They would have to turn us away. He is miserable working all the time, therefore I am miserable. Then I have to "shoot up" more hormones and I am even more miserable.

I wish I had a magic 8 ball that could tell me whether all of this was going to be worth it. Man this process sucks.

2 comments:

Mandy 12:54 PM  

I know that it looks bleak right now, but have faith. This is going to work for you guys and you will find a way to pay for it. It may suck at the moment, but it's only temporarily.

And, for the record, you're doing this b/c the two of you will make fantastic parents and deserve it more than anyone else I know! :)

tim 11:29 PM  

Life would be so boring if you knew what was going to happen. Welcome to choice and consequence. I guess you are grown up.

You don't get to know if you made a good decision until after you've made it. But either way, you will know something, which will make decision making a little easier in the future.

You keep blaming the meds and I'll keep blaming my favorite sports teams :)

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Over 8 years we have struggled through 3 IUI's, 6 rounds of IVF, several RE's, hundreds of appointments and the loss of three little angels. Now we find ourselves the proud parents of two perfect little girls and a wonderful little boy!!

Both of our girls struggle with some disabilities but that won't keep us down. Each day has it's own brand of insanity but we love it. Most days I am more monkey wrangler than mother but I do the best I can. Todays goal - getting to tomorrow.

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