What never ceases to amaze me is how nosey people can be. I never mind people asking when I am due, how far along I am, what I am having, etc. Although I feel like I have answered those questions about 200 times already. Most of the time the subject manages to get to the topic of me having twins. Not that it really bothers me but it amazes me how many people ask one of two questions. The first is a little less intrusive, do twins run in the family. That one doesn't bother me and actually twins do run in the family. Obviously that is not why we are having twins, but regardless. The second questions is a little more obnoxious to me, "are they natural." I feel like saying to people, no they are fake. I am having baby robots. Idiots... what a stupid way to ask the question. I am proud of the fact that I lived through three years of infertility so I generally respond "yes they are natural, but we did do IVF." People always look perplexed. It just seems to me that if I were a more private person that would be a very personal and inappropriate question. Guess it is a good thing I have a thick shell.
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I hear you!! Terrible isn't it? I had a Woman ask me one time if the triplets were "natural" and I looked at her like she had lost her mind... I thought about it for a second and then said, "well, they're not plastic if that's what you mean." She shut up pretty quickly...
You can imagine the stares we get with 5 kiddos under 2 years old... And the comments...Oh the comments!!
I've asked twin moms "Did you have medical help to get them?" I'd be curious to know if that would be offensive to any IVF twin mommies as I'd hate to offend. I figure it's the question I really am curious about as an IF so why ask a different question hoping to get to the answer I'm looking for. Does that make sense?
This is an interesting discussion topic, that's for sure.
Nickie - If people posed it that way, it wouldn't bother me a bit. It is that stupid "are they natural" question that kills me. It doesn't bother me that people ask, it is just the way they ask.
that's an odd way to phrase that question. Thankfully, it hasn't been asked of me that way.
The way that Nickie phrases it is a lot better and I don't mind sharing that my babies are a result of IVF.
Well heck, With my first baby, no one, NO ONE, asked when I was due or anything. I just looked fat. I never looked like a woman carrying an 8 pound baby. After three years of trying, I wanted SOMEBODY to ask something.
My issues aside....
I think we, having been infertile, carry a chip on our shoulders about HOW we got our baby/babies. On a personal comfort level, a complete stranger asking for a due date and a report on our fertility perhaps should register the same; really none of their business.
But they are asking the same thing, is my guess as good as the truth?
They hear that twins are more common now because of IVF, they want to know if it is true.
Curiousity is curiousity.
That being said, "Are they natural?" can be retorted with any of the following.
"They are as real as your boobs / hairpiece / engagement ring / etc."
or....
"I'll tell you about it after you describe your last PAP smear."
Just my cranky thoughts.
I would answer:
"If you think it is natural to conceive while on a trapeze, then yes"--I promise they will walk away saying "HUH"?
OMG, Emilie & Ohn... way too funny. I am going to try those and see the reactions I get. :>)
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