Life with Coco and Gigi... and Jack-Jack too!

Life as a Mom, A Homesteader, A Blogger and A Wife.

IF's toll

I have been thinking since National IF Awareness Month about what toll infertility has taken on my life. Many of you who have not lived through years of infertility may have a hard time understanding just what I am talking about. Those of you who have will.

I consider myself one of the lucky ones. I am lucky enough to have been blessed with these two miracles. Coming out on this side of infertility is one of the most bittersweet things I will ever experience. I obviously don't have the explain the sweet. Just look at my daughters. Just the fact that I get to say "my daughters" is proof enough. I AM LUCKY!

The bitter comes in many forms. It comes in knowing that someday and infertile woman will see me holding one of my daughters and she will go home and cry. It comes in knowing that some of my friend who battle infertility will lose. It comes in knowing that infertility has changes me in ways that I cannot change back. It comes in knowing that infertile woman will always live inside me. It has made me stronger and it has made me weaker.

You cannot explain what it is like to live through infertility. It is equally difficult to explain the bitterness after you have been given such blessings as I have. Perhaps I should just move on and forget about the absolute darkest days of my life. Maybe I should just count my blessings and forget about the sadness. But if I did, what would I have learned.

I would like to think that I am coming out of it on top. I won. I succeeded. My I thought it was worthwhile to remember what the cost was.




About this blog

Over 8 years we have struggled through 3 IUI's, 6 rounds of IVF, several RE's, hundreds of appointments and the loss of three little angels. Now we find ourselves the proud parents of two perfect little girls and a wonderful little boy!!

Both of our girls struggle with some disabilities but that won't keep us down. Each day has it's own brand of insanity but we love it. Most days I am more monkey wrangler than mother but I do the best I can. Todays goal - getting to tomorrow.

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