Life with Coco and Gigi... and Jack-Jack too!

Life as a Mom, A Homesteader, A Blogger and A Wife.

So, here's what I learned

Out of my created controversy I have learned a few things:

1. We human beings are not inherently great at arguing. Some people have the poise and eloquence to argue effectively but many people don't. It isn't what people argue, it's how it's said that irks me.

2. Controversy has it's place. Like Anon said I got more comments on that post than I have since the girls were born. It got us all reading and thinking.

3. I enjoy heated discussions. That isn't news, like I said a minor in negotiations doesn't usually work out for shy people.

4. I love my blog. Despite some irritation about a few people called me (essentially) uninspired and weak I think a few people made some excellent points. And I sure don't think of myself as weak.

5. Maybe there is a small place for some controversial topics here. I have shied away from those topics figuring who in their right mind gives a crap about my opinions on politics. Perhaps there are enough educated, intelligent people that a heated DISCUSSION (not argument) is not going to make people turn away. This sure won't become AC 360 since I don't have the brain cells left for such intelligible topics non-stop but I promise to try.

Thanks all for the assistance in my personal growth. ;D


Anonymous 5:42 AM  

Of course people care what you think. Otherwise you would have zero people stopping by this blog. The only thing I don’t read is sport updates!

You might disagree, but the way you phrase things makes you sound like you don’t think highly of your intellect. For example: “… who in their right mind gives a crap about my opinions on politics” and “I don't have the brain cells left for such intelligible topics.” You also make such comments sometimes when posting videos.

First, my feminist stance: One would NEVER hear a man say anything like that. Never. Second, my personal stance: While thoughts like this slip into my own head and I find myself saying things like this out loud from time to time, I edit these thoughts now, because I would be devastated if I heard one of my daughters say them. Remember “Math is Hard!” Barbie? I understand there is wiggle room here for [your] hyperbole but I do believe that there is often a little bit of truth in every jab that we make on ourselves.

I think I am the anon you don’t appreciate, since I said you are afraid you can't support your side or views or you won't/don't want to listen to others explain theirs. I said it is weak to walk away from intellectual conversations that are messy. I didn’t say YOU are weak all the time, that that is your chromosomal makeup. These were not absolutes. Obviously, you have proven that to be not true, because here you are. It took a little shaking but you came out. And maybe I can get a little credit for helping you in this personal growth! Strong, outspoken, opinionated women who don’t back down: THAT is what this world needs!

And, you HAVE to admit, shecking in on your comments now is a little more interesting, no?

It's not the controversy I crave, it is the chance to read what other women have to say that I love.

I am still afraid to reveal my identity because I think you will dislike me. See? My insecurity about such things is just one of the areas in which I need my own personal growth spurt.

Now what is our first topic?

Kristen 12:58 PM  

Anon - Well, it may seem like I lack esteem but that is not a problem I really have... just ask my husband. :D I think higher of my own intelligence, education and personal opinion that I probably should. What you are interpreting as lack of self-esteem and appreciation is really my self-deprecating humor. I find that is the best kind.

Don't worry, I am drumming up some fun topics to see where they take us. I like the idea of people wanting to hear what other woman have to say. I don't enjoy controversy for controversy sake. That being said I am looking at it in a new light. So thanks to you all for that!

Never thought I would intentionally post about controversial things but never say never. ;D And finally, you can keep your identity anon... doesn't bother me AT ALL... but I still like you.

Anonymous 1:18 PM  

See, the issue with online communication is that tone is inferred, and often incorrectly. If we were face to face, you would see and hear that nothing I have said to you carries a nasty spirit or tone. As someone who teaches online (like you) I run into this all of time.

I totally understand self-deprecating humor, and partake in such myself on occasion. But, for ME, there is a fine lien between poking fun of myself and putting myself down. Yes, i will laugh at myself if am am looking for my sunglasses, say, and the are on my head. But I wouldn't say "I am so stupid. My glasses were right on my head. Dumb."

I know I am sounding like a huge feminist again, but why don't men ever really do such things? I have really never met a man with a self-deprecating sense of humor. Their humor rarely pokes fun at themselves. I notice that we as women (royal we here) suffer fro the constant apologies disease and the put ourselves down disease and the I am ugly disease. I guess that my radar just picks up on any little itty bitty sign of this.

But I am happy to here that "not self confident" doesn't describe you. Your daughters will benefit HUGELY from your confidence.

I like the mommy/daughter glasses picture!

Kristen 2:36 PM  

Thanks anon. I LOVE that pic too. One of my faves.

You are right about the self-depricating humor thing being a feminine trait... although my hubby does like to poke fun at himself too. Rather than see it as a downfall of us woman I would rather look at it as how self-aware woman are compared with men. They are so vain that they cannot laugh at themselves. Woman are so much more in tune with themselves, their flaws and they greatness. It's what makes us better!

Anonymous 10:22 PM  

I feel the same way. I think that my few comments on your blog have taken all my brain power for this week. The Biggest Loser was too heady for me last night.



About this blog

Over 8 years we have struggled through 3 IUI's, 6 rounds of IVF, several RE's, hundreds of appointments and the loss of three little angels. Now we find ourselves the proud parents of two perfect little girls and a wonderful little boy!!

Both of our girls struggle with some disabilities but that won't keep us down. Each day has it's own brand of insanity but we love it. Most days I am more monkey wrangler than mother but I do the best I can. Todays goal - getting to tomorrow.

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