Life with Coco and Gigi... and Jack-Jack too!

Life as a Mom, A Homesteader, A Blogger and A Wife.

Remembering my worst day

When I look back on this date three years ago it is hard to believe how far I have come. August 2nd, 2006 was one of the worst days of my entire life. That is the day we found out our first baby was not going to make it. I had made it to about 8 weeks and the doc gave us the news... blighted ovum. My whole world fell apart that day. And it took me a long time to pick up the pieces. That day, those feelings, that sadness will haunt me for as long as I live. I will never forget running out of the office, tears streaming down my face, having to tell our parents (oh God, did that hurt), going home and climbing into bed and sobbing. I eventually fell asleep and in my dreams I was pregnant. My whole world was good. When I woke it felt as if the pain had tripled. Waking up that afternoon was probably the worst experience of my life. I can't fully explain it but hearing the news was horrible... waking up and realizing it was all real was devastating.

I don't usually like to live too much in past bad memories but this is one that I won't ever shake. It definitely gives me pause and makes me remember how good I have it. My girls are miracles. The fact that we have biological children is a miracle. Thirty years ago we would have been childless forever. Thank God for miracles!

4 comments:

Anonymous 1:27 AM  

wow this is a huge coinsidence. the worst day of my entire life was august 2nd 2006 as well. that day 3 years ago was the day my parents got into that huge fight that ruined my life as i know it. i got into the middle of the fight, trying to stoop them< and to sum up these past 3 years, my mom left my dad because of it ( even though she started the fight) started dating only a few months later as i felt betreyed because the were married for 14 years. so then about a year later she gets back together with her old high school boyfriend who lived in a different state, then 6 months later we move to a different state after me and my siblings barely knew this guy. to this day i hate my mom she made me move away from my dad and all my friends and her words of "comfort" before we moved were "you would have had to say goodbye to them in 3 years anyway" also note i had to move in the middle of freshman year!!! i tsucked big time. today im 15 and going into my sophemore year so the worst day of my life happened when i was 12, and it was all because of one stupid fight so i'm here to tell you i'm terribly sorry for your loss and i agree with you that august 2nd is 100 percent the worst day of the year.

Christina 2:57 PM  

I don't know what your feeling, but I'm so sorry your feeling it. :(
Love ya!

RocketGrl 6:37 PM  

My worst day was Nov 24, 2003. 14 weeks, heartbeat stopped. I'll nver forget staring at the U/S machine trying to make sense of the unthinkable.

Kristen 9:29 PM  

(((HUGS))) to everyone else who knows this kind of pain. Makes me sad knowing that almost everyone has a day like that one. Hurts my heart.

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Over 8 years we have struggled through 3 IUI's, 6 rounds of IVF, several RE's, hundreds of appointments and the loss of three little angels. Now we find ourselves the proud parents of two perfect little girls and a wonderful little boy!!

Both of our girls struggle with some disabilities but that won't keep us down. Each day has it's own brand of insanity but we love it. Most days I am more monkey wrangler than mother but I do the best I can. Todays goal - getting to tomorrow.

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