Life with Coco and Gigi... and Jack-Jack too!

Life as a Mom, A Homesteader, A Blogger and A Wife.

Why are my kids behind???

Warning: Whiney post in the making. I am feeling a little sorry for myself and need a place to get it off my chest.

Ok, you're been warned. :D

So, this Christmas I spent a lot of time thinking about what gifts would both help my kids (with their OT, PT, speech and general developmental needs) and entertain them for longer periods of time. I read, I researched, I planned and plotting. I thought I had it all figured out. I bought Tag Readers, and expensive toys from the Learning store. I bought games and toys from movies they adore. I got Fisher Price and Mattel and Matchbox... the biggies that all kids love. But they don't. It is not even a month after Christmas and it seems everything is a bust. They had fun opening the gifts but that was about it.

They're attention span is less than two minutes, especially Grace. Even toys that are labeled 2 and up seem to be too far beyond them developmentally They don't excel at playing and pretending in the least bit. Even when I sit down and try to engage them in play they won't. I am frustrated. They should be starting to pretend play. Mine just don't. They have always been a little bit behind the curve developmentally but I thought we would be closing those gaps by now. It just worries me that when we hit school age they will still be this far behind. What will that mean in terms of learning, socializing, interacting, etc.? It doesn't seem like much but it is just yet one more source of frustration.

I talked to our OT about it and she explained that many kids with special needs need to be taught how to pretend play. To me this is both good news and one of the saddest things I have heard in a while. It's good because I know some of the reason as to why they are so behind in these areas. Sad because it is just one more thing to worry about, to work on, the think about. I know that I am lucky to have my kids with me capable of playing. I know I shouldn't complain so much. Thank God I have a blog to get it all off my chest. :D

5 comments:

Nichole 2:38 PM  

Could it be a twin thing? Do they not pretend play because there's always someone there to play with...? I grew up as an only child so I'm really no help...

I'm sorry - I wish I had the answers for you...

*HUGS*

Jennifer 2:48 PM  

I can see why you are frustrated, esp. after all that research. Short attention spans are quite normal at this age, as I am sure you know. Not connecting with toys is also common.My 2.5 year old girls have the kinetic-ness to them: They are always on the go. I constantly cull their toys, leaving them with just a few, in hopes that they will engage more in what they have. No luck. That little barn with mini farm animals? Sits untouched. My ped. and several dr. and psychologist friends assure me this is all good.

Avery, at 2 yrs 7 months, has just started to pretend play ("I is a doggie" and "I go under bridge" and such) but Madeline is no where near that point. Hate to compare, but it underscores my point: All of our little ones are on their own timetable. Don't forget to factor in the twin factor: Having a constant playmate/shadow makes things quite different! Doctors don't confirm this but my twin mom friends do, especially those with singeltons too: Twins develop veeeeery differently than singletons.

Kristen 3:55 PM  

Jennifer - You do bring up a great point. It does drive me crazy when the girls are compared by therapists, docs, etc. to singletons when it is obvious there are so stark differences in the development of twins. Great point!

Jennifer 7:16 PM  

I know! Doctors deny it: They all say there is no evidence blah blah blah. But, like I said, based on my experience and other twin moms, it is HUGE. My girls are SO different from each other. One speaks in paragraphs and the other, she is borderline behind. But just today, the non speaker woke up early from nap. She and I hung out for an hour alone, laying on my ned. She babbled and chatted the ENTIRE time. Once she was out of her sister's shadow/spotlight, she was spreading her own little speaking wings. I understand one tenth of what she was saying, but at least she was speaking and getting one on one with me. Deep down you know it is true too: We are differnet parents to one then we are to two. With two, it is many times about surviving and managing chaos. With one, well, a lot can be said for one-on-one attention.

OK, I am babbling now....

Kristen 9:23 PM  

Jennifer - Babble on girl... it's nice knowing I am not alone. :D

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Over 8 years we have struggled through 3 IUI's, 6 rounds of IVF, several RE's, hundreds of appointments and the loss of three little angels. Now we find ourselves the proud parents of two perfect little girls and a wonderful little boy!!

Both of our girls struggle with some disabilities but that won't keep us down. Each day has it's own brand of insanity but we love it. Most days I am more monkey wrangler than mother but I do the best I can. Todays goal - getting to tomorrow.

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