Life with Coco and Gigi... and Jack-Jack too!

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I am looking for some suggestions here. I posted a while back about some issues we are having with Abby. Part of it is being three and part of it is the impulsivity that most parents of kids with RS report. It is like their "filter" is broken. Anyway, we are having a really tough time with her threatening. She is getting things from the bigger kids (which makes me insane) and threatening to hit, smack people in the face, pee on the floor or on someone... I know, lovely. : (

It is extremely frustrating. Time outs don't work. Time in her crib doesn't work. Ignoring it only makes her get louder and meaner. We have tried giving her words to replace the mean words that express her frustration but she doesn't care. I am a little at wits end. Anyone have any suggestions or words of wisdom?


Anonymous 1:40 PM  

I am not sure if what we do with our three year old will be effective with a child with RS but I will share with you what we do.

When our three year old is having a tantrum such as yelling, crying, stompping around we completely ignore him. If he trys to hit we continue to not speak to him and place him in his room with the door shut. I stand there and hold the door shut. He can cry, scream, etc. but we do not say a word to him. It has gone for two hours before he has calmed down.

We give him no attention positive or negative. Once he is calm we talk to him about what happened and if he has pee-peed on the floor he has to clean it up or if he has thrown a toy, etc. he has to pick it up. He is willing to do this after he is calm.

Once he is calm we also give him a consequence such as no games on the computer explaining that a child that does not listen or follow the rules cannot play. Sometimes this will start the tantrum all over again, but at this age I feel a consequence is needed. I exlpain we can try to earn computer time that after dinner, etc.

The ignoring (I mean not a word) and the consequence seem to be working as we have far less long tantrums.

Michelle 1:54 PM  

I 2nd Anonymous. That's been the most effective form of punishment in our house.

I literally ignore her behavior until it is over. She's carried on for over an hour before... If she's being too disruptive then I just carry her to her room...kicking and screaming and calmly close her door. She knows that when she has collected herself then she can come back downstairs.

Man, these times are sooo stressful. I feel for you. Stock up on your favorite wine and pop a bottle open as soon as they hit the sack!

Kristen 4:39 PM  

M - Wine is definitely a necessity these day. ;D

I think you guys are right it is just frustrating as hell. There is a part of me that wants to ignore it but do I ignore it when she is threatening to hit, smack, punch, etc. Me or her sister? It feels a little like a no win. She is not a tantrumer. She is the type to tell you she is going to hit you and smile like mad about it. So frustrating!

Anonymous 5:31 PM  

I'm with anon. totally ignore it. freeze it out. then talk it out afterward. Depending on age, administer a punishment but with younger kids I don't think that's necessary. This is much more difficult in public or mixed company when you are expected to react, but I am also quick to give my daughter one warning that "we are going to leave if you keep doing XXX". And then we do leave if she doesn't stop. Of late, we have left the grocery store, library, and a park playdate when she continued her behavior. Since the playdate, it's been getting much better. Bad behavior is almost always linked to being tired with my kid.

The terrible 3s are terrible indeed.



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Over 8 years we have struggled through 3 IUI's, 6 rounds of IVF, several RE's, hundreds of appointments and the loss of three little angels. Now we find ourselves the proud parents of two perfect little girls and a wonderful little boy!!

Both of our girls struggle with some disabilities but that won't keep us down. Each day has it's own brand of insanity but we love it. Most days I am more monkey wrangler than mother but I do the best I can. Todays goal - getting to tomorrow.

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