In the wake of last weeks discussion on finding time for myself I have spent some time thinking about WHY do we feel all of this pressure. Is it watching previous generations? Is it self-imposed? Is it media influenced? I am not certain but I have some thoughts I wanted to "get on paper".
I feel like we, as women, have the inherent need to compare ourselves to those around us. To take stock of how we are doing based off of what others are doing. I have always prided myself on not caring what others think. I was hardly ever teased as a kid because I didn't care that much. I did my own thing throughout my college experience. I never felt like I needed to "stack up". And then I had kids.
Suddenly the comparisons about who has their child in the best playgroups and activities began. Whose kid crawled first... who has the most season passes to the zoo, aquarium, art museum, etc... whose kid spoke the most... and on and on. It makes you feel so small. Like you can't possibly do it all. The daily comparisons. You work and you need to spend more time with your kid. You stay home and you don't contribute enough. You work from home and you don't give enough to either. It feels like such a lose-lose. Having a passing conversation with another Mom at the bus stop can have you asking yourself why you don't do a craft a day or let your kids paint on the living room wall.
Why is it that we have to struggle with these things? Why do we feel like we have to measure ourselves against a non-existent standard? Who in the hell even created the standard anyway? The biggest question is how do we break away from these shackles? How do we find a way of supporting each other as women whether we work, stay at home or do both?