Over the weekend I had a wonderful dream. It was one of those rare, stick with you all night, remember it when you wake up and feel good about it all day kinds of dreams. In this dream I got pregnant... on my own. I got the immeasurable pleasure of going around and telling everyone the shocking news. I never had this experience. Because our journey to pregnancy involved plotting and planning there was never the moment of getting to tell your husband or your parents THE BIG NEWS. In my dream it was SO MUCH FUN. I was planning how to tell each person one-by-one. And I remember being so happy, so excited.
Whether or not to have more kids is something we talk about periodically. In my heart I don't feel like we're done. I don't feel like we're quite complete yet. That being said neither of us is in a huge hurry to get back on the IVF bandwagon. I'm not 100% sure when it will happen (or even if for that matter) but this dream got me thinking about the other side of the coin.
When I think about more kids I think about space and money and diapers and sleepless nights. I forget about the excitement and the joy and the fun of the unexpected. I sometimes forget about all the wonderful firsts. I also love the idea of the chance to do it all with one baby. (Not that we don't risk having multiples again but still...)
My dream doesn't necessarily change anything. I;m just glad for those few hours that the dream lingered it got me thinking about it.