Life with Coco and Gigi... and Jack-Jack too!

Life as a Mom, A Homesteader, A Blogger and A Wife.

One shoe or two?

I am a two shoe mom. What I mean by that is my children don't leave the house unless they are fully clothed (and neither costumes nor pajamas are considered clothes in our house), have brushed hair and teeth and you have two shoes on your feet. Sometimes when I am in Target and I see a kid with two different shoes and jammies eating an oreo for breakfast I have the opposite reaction than you might expect. A secret little part of me envies that mom.

I would have to believe that that Mom doesn't stress herself out each morning getting it all done. I wonder if that child will grow up to be a more free thinker when they grow up. A small part of me wants to be "that Mom" when I grow up.

But which is "right"? Do we not teach our kids about societal norms (and let's face it we all have to abide by them to some degree) by showing them how to leave the house in the morning? Or are we supposed to foster their independence by letting them choose? I'm not sure which is right. Maybe somewhere in the middle.

For now I'm not sure I have it in me to allow my kids to sport their Dora PJ's at Target. Maybe someday...


Anonymous 8:06 AM  

I love it when little kids where costumes out and about. Seeing a child in her princess dress or a boy in his Spiderman costume is super cute and the child LOVES the positive attention. My son wore his Halloween costume for months after Halloween. I figured I would get my money out of it. However, PJ's are for home in our house.

Anonymous 8:46 AM  

I was a very strict w/my 1st born,always,dressed to the the T when we went out, now the 2nd I have chosen my battles. We tend to leave w/ a cape on & woody boot slippers on more often then not. I have become more relaxed as I have gotten older. I have friend & she once stated to me she realized she had becomed more relaxed w/ each child when the 4th had a cookie in his mouth as an infant! :) From Ethan's Mom!

ferfischer 11:53 AM  

Hmmm. I've never really thought about this before. I guess I'm a two shoe mom too. I don't even think I consciously made that decision. Now, sometimes the shoes are on the wrong feet, even if they're matching, and sometimes the clothes don't match, but they are always weather appropriate. But, I suppose it depends on the battles you are fighting. For me, setting these standards is easier than fighting the battles if we only do it "sometimes"

Plant Girl 3:25 PM  

We always need to be dressed to leave the house (i.e. out of jammies). I don't think Kate has ever gone anywhere in a princess costume and she always has shoes on her feet.

However, there have been many a time when her clothes didn't match or she's worn rain boots when it's 100 degrees and sunny.

If I forced my child to wear exactly what I wanted her to, there would be many a day when errands weren't run because I wouldn't be able to get her dressed and out of the house.

Anonymous 5:43 PM  

I believe in turning your children out right. Granted, sometimes the clothes aren't the best match or my choice and the hair gets messed up pretty easily, but the effort always exists! I get the whole "choose your battles" argument, but to my way of thinking being dressed in public in real clothes is an important battle to fight. So many lessons learned in that one. Totally agree with ferfischer that having it be "the rule" makes life easier. Don't worry, you will not stifle your kids with discipline and rules, quite the opposite. Discipline is a tool which will harness creativity and bring it from conception to reality. Almost all creative and artistic people use great discipline and practice in what they do.

Kristen 9:09 AM  

Thanks for all the great feedback. Glad I am not the only one who spends time thinking about these things. ;D

Veronica 12:43 AM  

When my first 3 kids were born I was a 2shoe mom everyone was Dressed combed and ready for the day, with my last 2 I am a 1shoe mom I let them go to the store in there Buzz lightyear costume or there jammies with slippers, mostly just pick my battles anymore...



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Over 8 years we have struggled through 3 IUI's, 6 rounds of IVF, several RE's, hundreds of appointments and the loss of three little angels. Now we find ourselves the proud parents of two perfect little girls and a wonderful little boy!!

Both of our girls struggle with some disabilities but that won't keep us down. Each day has it's own brand of insanity but we love it. Most days I am more monkey wrangler than mother but I do the best I can. Todays goal - getting to tomorrow.

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