It feels so different this time in so many ways. On the physiological side I don't remember feeling so run down, exhausted, crabby or nauseous this early on. I remember feeling like a million bucks until I was about 7 weeks when I ended up in the ER for severe dehydration. I am guessing this is because of the emotional difference. The first (actually second since I had a m/c with pregnancy #1) time around I was walking on air. I had fought so hard to become a Mom that when it was becoming a reality I was so high I couldn't even see the ground. I was the happiest person alive.
Not that I am not elated this time but there's something about having two kids that grounds you. I am really struggling with how to put it into words but it's completely different. It's like a much quieter sense of satisfaction. Now I know the realities. I know that this means a lot of sleepless nights, ear infections, diaper changes, etc. But I also know the quiet amazing moments. The smile first thing in the morning, seeing that little person for the first time, hearing them say mama for the first time.
It's definitely different. I will not be able to spend the next nine months thinking about every little thing. I won't plan every single detail of a nursery. I won't have a closet lined with perfect, new clothes with tags on them. This time it will be different. Not better, not worse but a whole new kind of different.