I have figured out how to manage most of the tricky Mom questions that I come across. I have good answers for why Abby is so much smaller than Grace despite them being twins. I have a quick answer for why Abby flaps and why Grace freaks out in the store when the heater noise comes on. The one question I still toil with is a simple one. "How many kids do you have?" Most of the time I say two and move on. But in my head I know how complicated this one is.
I don't have two kids. I have the girls but I also have Genna and Will and Jordan. I have loved them from the moment they were born and I have loved them as my own. I have had the birds and bees discussion. I have had to issue the punishments. I have gotten the hugs and the smiles. I have cleaned up the puke and wiped the butts. I have done the Mom things. I love them as my own.
Yet somehow people just can't understand how two families can co-parent kids the way we do. They don't know understand how I can love all five of them exactly the same. It is incredibly frustrating. It's "normal" for a divorced couple to raise kids in two households but somehow Brian and I sharing the load with my parents is WEIRD.
People talk a good game about diversity. About how every family is different and that's okay. Yet somehow people still look and ask stupid questions and make rude comments about our family. I consider us the lucky ones. Most kids are lucky if they get two parents who love them unconditionally. Our kids each get FOUR. That's downright amazing. In other cultures this type of philosophy, "it take s village", is more widespread. But we get so caught in our own views of a Mom and a Dad. Why not two Moms, two Dads, aunts, uncles, grandparents, and on and on? Can there be any such thing as too much love? I definitely don't think so!
My house is loud and messy and my kids eat me out of house and home... but I love every single second. I'm the luck one.
Anyone who doesn't get... just doesn't get it. :D