A year ago

A year ago I got him.

Before he was born I spent so many hours wondering how a new little person would change us all. I never could have anticipated. 

And that day, a year ago changed me so much. Looking at my son, MY SON, was truly like looking at my heart beating outside of me. I have children. I know a mothers love. But nothing could have prepared me for him. 

I remember so much about that day (and the few after it). Being mad at Brian for making us late to the hospital. Joking with the admissions nurse. Walking to the surgery prep area. My epidural. Feeling SO SICK after the spinal block. Hearing him cry. Seeing Brian holding him. The nurses. Listening to my doctor talk to a resident as she stitched me up. Trying to nurse him for the first time. 

And one of the biggest moments. When I heard the girls voices in the hallway and heard a little knock on the door. I have tears just writing that. 

NOTHING can prepare you for that moment. It is sheer, utter joy. 

There was so much happiness. 

This moment, a simple moment, was one of the happiest of my life. I watched my husband and my son sleeping quietly side by side. My life felt so complete in that moment. 

I can't believe it was only a year ago. He is my special angel. My son. My heart. Happy birthday sweet boy!