Throughout the summer I have had the opportunity to do a little introspective searching. I have worked less which has led me to think more. I've had time to think about what I want out of life, what is my next step, there do I see my forties taking me. Most importantly, what path do I want to forge down next?
I'm not really sure if it's something like an early mid-life crisis or just restlessness but I don't think I have ever craved change the way I do right now. I have gone through most of my adult life applying the motto "change is overrated." If things stay the same then they really can't be all that bad. Change equated to me as something I had to overcome and deal with. I saw even the slightest adjustments to my routine as a tiny bit of terror.
Life the shift of winds I couldn't feel more different. Out of nowhere, like being hit by a truck, the same old, same old suddenly seems stifling. Going about the daily routine, which has always been something that sustained me, feels like suffocation. The most odd part of this new feeling is that it doesn't feel like a bad thing. It isn't the case of being sick of my kids or my marriage or my life. It's quite the opposite. This new feeling strikes me more like growth and revolution. It feels like a new outlook that allows for adventure and new things.
I'm not really sure how and why this strange shift is occuring but it feels like progress I didn't know I needed. I just hope that positive change is on the horizon waiting for me to grab it. New opportunities, new scenery, newness. I guess it's never too late to change the way you see your life.