A reader asked me recently in a comment to one of my posts if I would compile a list of my favorite comments as a Mom of a special needs child. I am finding this exercise VERY cathartic. I want to thank RocketGr for suggesting it and giving me this forum to get these stupid comments off my chest. So, here goes:
- "You never know, Abby could turn out to be the pretty one."
-"Why doesn't that one talk?"
- "Why is her head so big?"
- "Why is her body so tiny?"
- "Why don't you just get her a wheelchair?"
- "Why do you *LET* her fall all the time?"
- "Oh my God, look, I think there is something wrong with that kid". Had the big kids not been there I would have given them a piece of my mind. (Whispered, loud enough we could all hear it, from the table to next to mine while sitting in Friendly's with all five kids)
- "Oh you have twins. It looks like that one twin is bigger than the other. And she walks way better too. Is there something wrong with the other one."
- "What a shame." No mother wants to hear this.
- (From a mother to her child) "Honey don't point, it's rude". Again, who wants to be pointed at in public for a walker, helmet, etc.
- "Well, by this age Abby should long be talking in sentences." This was from our own speech therapist, who has been kicked to the curb. We are just happy the kid is talking.
When she had the helmet:
"That is such a shame."
"Is she retarded". We get this all the time.
"What is wrong with her?"
When she had the walker:
"Oh, that is so cool. I have never seen a baby walker like that. Where did you get one. I would love to get one for my niece" To which I coldly replied "At the medical supply company listed on my insurance."
"What a cute walker" How about what a cute little girl instead. There is nothing cute about a steel walker.
"Why would you bring something like that to the mall?"
As a Mom of a special needs kid I enjoy honesty more than anything else. I LOVE that kids will come up to me and say "how come she doesn't walk so good" without any hesitation or pause. That kind of honesty is so refreshing.
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3 comments:
I'm having a lot of trouble with the comments we get. Not from children, (although even those are hard to answer), but mostly because she's lying down in a stroller when we go out. So, the comments are "oh, she's sleeping?" "what a sleepy baby" - "oh, they're twins?" "identical? are you sure?" But mostly it's the looks of pity that I hate the most. And, the "hands full" comment. I'm both dreading and excited about getting a chair for Cici, at which point her disability will be obvious to everyone and she won't be a "sleepy baby" anymore. I wonder what we'll hear then. But, oh how I love it when people comment about how beautiful my children are, rather than anything else. That comment is ALWAYS a winner.
You are so right! Hearing that my girls are beautiful and a blessing is ALWAYS a welcome comment!
I'm new to your blog, but I wanted to tell you that I really enjoyed this post! :) And you're right about children -- it is refreshing how honest they are!
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