Should we even bother

One of the common questions in our house when talking about whether to go somewhere or find something to do is "should we even bother". It sounds very apathetic and downright lazy but it isn't a simple as it sounds. When trying to think of a place to eat... if we go somewhere too quiet the girls will be a disturbance. If we go someplace loud Grace will likely be completely overstimulated and have a meltdown. If we are thinking of going to a park... we can't go if it's windy or too bright, Gracie can't handle it. We can't go anywhere that doesn't make considerations for kids with developmental delays or Abby won't be able to play. If we are thinking of going to a store... we have to make sure it won't be too crowded or loud so Gracie doesn't get overstimmed. If we are invited to a party or event we have to make sure there are places we can take the girls to settle periodically.

Our life is full of a series of these weights and balances. We want our children to have a "normal" life. We want them to experience things. It just isn't as simple as needing to run and errand and running it. I know that parents of other "sensory" kids know exactly what I am talking about but many parents of typical kids don't. They see you taking your child out of a birthday party when they start flapping or spinning and think you're overindulgent or your kid is manipulative. They know that your kid isn't autistic so they figure the flapping is for attention. What people don't realize is every single part of the day for a child with problems regulating their sensory system is a chore. They don't transition well from one activity to the next. Asking them to get off the sofa and come eat lunch is like asking them to walk on hot coals to do so. Bright light is blinding. Wind is painful. Smells are overpowering. Things touching your skin hurts you. It isn't easy.

So how do you balance this with trying to lead a "normal" life??? That seems to be the question. I'd like to say that most days we can handle it. We bring chewy tubes and squishy balls and make it work. We pick and choose our times and places very carefully. We have a system for taking out a flapping child BEFORE the meltdown happens. It is just one more thing on the long To Do List of being a parent.