Numbers

One of the things I hate most about having the girls formally evaluated is the excruciating experience of reading through the reports on the assessors findings. You have to keep in mind that the goal of these evaluations is to look for things that are wrong but it doesn't soften the blow of reading page after page about what your child can't do.

As the evaluations themselves begin to wind down (only one more to go) the reports start rolling in. Some findings are wonderful. The fears of Grace having a learning disability seem to be gone. Abby can answer questions well above the 4 and a half year old level. They are both incredibly smart. That makes me so happy I feel like I could float. But then there is the other side. Gracie's expressive language is way, way below age level (and even though this is the case she still isn't qualifying for speech). Abby's locomotive skills are around 19 months. Grace has a lisp. Abby's postural skills are more than a year behind where they should be.

Reading all of this pains me. Most days we focus on our task at hand and we do out OT, PT and ST like we are told. We do what we have to do knowing that we are gaining ground. We are closing the gaps. But then you find yourself staring down at a report that outlines every little place where the gaps are not getting smaller and even widening. It throws you off your path a little. It makes you start to ask those useless questions like why? when? WHAT?

So needless to say I am anxious for this part of our preschool journey to be over. I am ready to do the IEP meetings, know what is going to happen and prepare for what is to come. Just one more evaluation to go...