Separation Anxiety

When Grace had her many evaluations for school I learned a couple of things. The first is that she is significantly smarter than many people think. (Not, that anyone thinks she is dumb, it's just that she tested as being really, really smart.) The second is that she is not necessarily the outgoing kid we thought we was. The third and most problematic thing is that she has pretty remarkable problems with separation anxiety (SA). It's not uncommon for kids with SPD. I know this but somehow it still felt unexpected.

I teach developmental psychology and each semester I teach students about how we see SA for the first time within the first year. It shows itself again around 18 months and then again around 3. Somehow in all my planning for school I overlooked the fact that one of my children would probably deal with this issue. (Who would have thought it would be Grace???)

Abby separated from me for her evaluations. The evaluators told me she asked for me and was okay without me. Grace didn't separate from me for one single eval. In fact when we tried she got so stressed that her got hives on her face. It made me so sad to watch this outgoing, independent little girls fade into this scared, shy thing.

So this is my mission. Spend the next three months encouraging my daughter to feel comfortable in the world without me. Sounds easy but it is much tougher than it seems. Getting a kid who has never been away from me to feel safe without me is hard. The gymnastics class is the first step. I can take a step back and allow another adult to be the one guiding the activity. I am also signing the girls up for some classes and activities at the local library. Again, hopefully she will see that listening to another adult (than me) and being around her peers is fun and safe.

It will be a bit of a process but hopefully it will make everyone's life easier come September.